Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Fertility Sucks

Ok Here's the deal............Allen and I have been trying to have a baby going into 7 years now. We have divided family on the issue. When you go through something as heavy as this and you are dealing with the amount of pain I do each day, you kind of get tunnel vision and forget the rest of the world. The part of the world that you don't forget, are the women that are beautifully pregnant. It hurts espescially when the woman or women are or were close to you.

This past month we thougt we may have gotten it right.......3 weeks later to lose it. Now I know some of you think this is not a loss, but it is. It's the loss and grief of never being able to have a baby. Your own baby.

Not only did I fail at having a career, house, and the rest of the American Dream, I also failed at getting and staying pregnant. I'm tired of getting positive pregnancy tests at home only to go to the Hospital to find out that it's negative. There's nothing like having a TOTAL STRANGER tell you that you are not pregnant.

I'd rather find out alone in my own home...........Not to mention we have a party to go to in August and there will be at least 3 pregnant women there that I know of. That will be a heavily intoxicating night for sure.

So the plan moving forward is to see my Doctor in August and decide what to do next. But after this we are done.

It will just be the two of us as it always has been and hopefully always will be!

Thanks for taking time to read and understand where we are coming from.

Here's to a better tomorrow!



Andy Eggers said...

hang in there, kara. i'm sorry to hear about your struggle with this stuff. please don't lose heart.

Emma and Natalie's Mommy said...

i LOVE that pic of you and Allen! I hope your August surgery goes well and you get a + soon! If there is anything i can do just let me know